I will have comments on the events going on today with the teabaggers (LOL) and their outlandish and vitriolic appearance on Capitol Hill, tomorrow.
Today was a fucking hard day.
First off, not that anyone gives a shit, but my right knee suffered a torn meniscus, and mind you, my chiropractor caused it by the exercise he made me do. So, good thing, it is not the kind of tear that will require surgery. Bad thing, I have pain constantly, have to take anti-inflammatory medicine, (like Ben Gay and Motrin) and do certain quad exercises to strengthen the muscles surrounding he knee.
Anyway, I had an appointment to see an optometrist to get clear my vision options. My glasses suck, cuz they are scratched beyond repair. I haven't worn contacts in five years since I discovered I can't see without reading glasses the fine print. So I opted for wearing my last pair of glasses (and trust me, they were $300 on sale, damn it).
The visit was about four fucking hours at the Lens Crafter, which despite the time parameters, was still cheaper than if I went back to my regular high end optometrist.
Unfortunately, I cannot wear the bifocal contacts, so I had to settle for a new pair of glasses, with bifocal lenses and with a darkening screen that acts like sunglasses (so much for having bangs again, damn it).
I thought it was interesting that they took my blood pressure, which registered at 187 over 114 ... talk about panic attacks!
I took four Valium, and it still registered 187, damn!
But, the most important part was that I had my grandson. I told my daughter that I couldn't take him this weekend because I had this doctor visit and other stuff, but she was adamant I had to take him because (1) her best friend was having a shower for her third baby out of wedlock (who the hell keeps having sex with turds that get you preggers and aren't around .. or, my daughters friends, LOL), and (2) she wanted me to prep the grandkid for his first presentation orally on a project before the class ... like I really had the time for it.
So, the doctor visit was four hours, not like one hour, and I have to give props to the grandkid for behaving properly. But he was hungry, and since the cost overrun depleted what I had brought with me such that I had to go home first before I could actually buy food for dinner, it was stressful.
Now, I am all for public transit, but today was a bitch, and nothing was working right. So, I waited an hour for a bus that never came, all the while my grandson was telling me he was hungry. Talk about raising your blood pressure.
When I telephoned my daughter, she was at my house, working on putting finishing touches on the "presentation" that Zaire was supposed to make on Monday. When I told her of my predicament, she said she'd go to the store.
But when I got home, she hadn't gone to the store. She, instead, fed herself, and then decided she was going to fight with me over what Zaire wanted for dinner (pizza, micro version or baked version ...since she has decided to toss her microwave, she was adamant she was buying the 30 minute bake version, despite the fact the kid hadn't eaten in like 8 hours).
So, while she went to the store, I laid down in the dark to try to help my BP lower, and I even told Zaire I wasn't going to sleep, I was just resting trying to lower the BP. In fact, I heard him tell his mom that "grandma is resting lowering her BP." Next thing I hear is my daughter saying she and Zaire are leaving ... and she took the pizza (laughs).
Y0u know, sometimes you have a child that gives a shit about you, and then you have my daughter.
Time for me to just be the part time grandparent, as much as I love Zaire. My daughter treats me like the weekly babysitter. End of that routine.
I love my grandson, but my daughter is really just a thoughtless bitch, and I am done with it.
11 comments:
WOW! I'm really sorry about your day. I am a bit confused what caused the early stress to elevate your BP, but either way NOT GOOD. Actually Zaire probably helped you stay focussed (even with the hunger), because the love and concern of an innocent child is very comforting. Unfortunately they grow older (daughter) and lose track of how they got where they are. When things settle, you will go back to caring for Zaire on the weekends because he IS your grandson and your love for him will outweigh any anger towards your daughter. Now take some deep breaths, relax, and get your BP under control. When I had my heart attack my BP 214/189, I should have been dead. Now I'm pretty consistant at 124/75. I'm on Corag and Lisinopril for my BP. I was on a pill that started with a "D" (i don't remember the actual name) which did nothing for me.
When I went to my doctor after registering a 280/180 BP I was surprised I wasn't dead.
Three years later, I'm ok. My BP regularly registers between 118/70 to 128/80. But, I do have panic attacks, which is why I am prescribed Valium (only 30 10 mg every 35 days, so it's not like I have a habit or anything). When I get the panic attack, which I can't predict which causes it or when, I then take the Valium. So I can go probably two weeks with nothing, and then one day have to take 40 mg of Valium. Today was one of those days.
The fact that my daughter is such a bitch, and has been for years, is just dumbfounding. I love my grandson to pieces. More than I can say I ever felt for the kid. But with that said, I spent my life fighting for my daughter with her "father" who was a complete asshole to her, and yet, I'm treated with the disrespect that I should not get.
Tony, you are right, at some point I'll get over this. But right now, I'm pissed. Instead of having a daughter that was concerned about my well-being, I had a daughter that was pissed off (1) because I wanted to give Zaire the fucking damn pizza he wanted, and (2) taking time to lower the BP was an affront to her in some way.
One explanation why so many grandmoms say, "Just give me the grandkid go away & I'll do the raising." Because if they're gonna have constant hassles, for all the added responsibilities, at least they have direction over them & get to make the important decisions instead of going crazy over the little stuff like a daughter who doesn't even throw a pop tart in the toaster & boil water for a cup of tea.
I am still up at nearly 5 a.m., although I slept a few hours.
Tony and Bob (and my real time friends that I talked to on the phone) your supporting comments have helped me.
In Tony's world, money is not a problem, and it is not in mine. So, the fact that I didn't bring enough cash for the parameters of the day bugged me.
Bob, your comments about grandparents taking over and the kid's just letting go, was right on. My kid couldn't be supportive of me ... she actually took Zaire away. Made me mad, which Tony pointed out.
I slept a while but obviously I am up at like 5 a.m. I am pissed also because this is this first year in five years that my grandson is not running some time in the L.A. Marathon. My daughter chose to break that record so she could support her "ho" friend having a baby ( the third without a father in support). Shots of rum even at this hour don't dull the pain, emotionally or physically. But, thanks for the support, Tony and Bob.
What I find most alarming Carrie, not too belabor this incident, is how Mercedes reacted. Especially since she is now a mother, and understands the bond (hopefully) between mother and child. What I found heartwarming was the fact that Zaire showed concern for Grandma. If he could have, I bet he would have made you a cup of tea and some toast, and sat with you to comfort you. He was probably also as angry at his Mother for taking him away from you as you were for her walking out on you. You and I may not agree on things politically, but one thing I know for sure is what a GREAT Mother you are. I alwys knew you to put your daughter's needs ahead of your own. You made many sacrifices for her, which don't need to listed here. If she were still a beebop teen without her own child, this reaction would be expected, but that is not the case. I live 3 hours from my mother, and when she calls, I am in my car and on my way. No matter what time, no matter what day. Wish I could be there to tell her what's what.
Oh, one more thing. My Dad, who you never got to meet, always said, "Your kids are the price you pay to get your grandchildren." It appears right now, you would support that statement.
I forget who wrote it, it was in a preface to an anthology of classic children's stories: "Grandparents & grandchildren have a common enemy." I could be a hellion kid, but I obeyed my grandmother's few strong rules in exchange for sanctuary at her apt in Atlantic City.
Have to break this up in two parts!
My daughter actually was considering an abortion when she told me she was pregnant. I had an abortion before I had her. I wish I had the support from my family at the time I did have the abortion, because I would never have had it, in hindsight. With that in mind, I made it my duty to inform Mercedes that I would always be there to take care of the needs of Zaire (well, he wasn't named that yet) and that abortion was not an option because I was financially able to take care of her AND a baby.
And I have taken care of both of them, even to the point of causing the stress that gave me the high blood pressure in the first place (well, that and putting on the weight after the accident that broke my leg and gave me the excuse to stop exercising and drink - my weight gain has zero to do with eating habits, and 100% to do with drinking and not exercising). When my daughter moved out and went on welfare, and after the blow outs and the legal war of obtaining custody of Zaire (which ended with her asking me to drop the lawsuit and she'd do whatever I asked, which I did ... drop the lawsuit, and laid out a few ground rules). But now, it's back again after two years, her attitude toward me. Yeah, she has come over lately and helped me out since my knee injury, but I have to fucking PAY HER MONEY to help clean my house and stuff. It galls me that everything she says she does for me, costs me dollars, and I don't get love in return, I get talked down to as if I was 12 and didn't know about the facts of life. She actually tried to dismiss MY day yesterday saying she had a hard day to. Yeah, real hard, having pictures made at Kinko's and pasting them on a board for Zaire's project AND making up about 50 lighters with the name of her "ho" friend whose baby shower she was planning. The lighters were for the guests, you know, to light up their bongs and shit. Everyone knows I smoked the weed for nearly 30 years, but what many of you don't know is that I quit it a while ago. Nada, zippo. If you look over my posts the past few months, you'll notice the lack of reference to drugs (not that I am against them, cuz I'm not, I just got tired of smoking pot and stopped it.) I even put all my pipes, bongs, papers, cleaners, etc. in a box and stored it away, so it's not even in the house. But her bad day didn't come close to my bad day, walking for hours, sitting for hours, running out of cash, dragging a hungry kid around with nothing to do but sit and be bored.
Part Two:
Sorry I am still venting, and it is my blog so I can vent (laughs). The anger is still in me, and so I am sure my BP is high again today. I'm gonna just ease out, put on the tube, forget the political posting (even though the health care bill is being voted on today, and yesterday's ranting and raving was just too much for me to take), eat up a few more Valium and calm down.
I won't be seeing the grandkid anyway for a few weeks which should put some distance between the daughter and me. Next week is her weekend, the following weekend is Easter, so I am sure she has plans for him on her on, and the weekend after that is my trip to Seattle (and my birthday, which thankfully, I won't have to talk to her or be with her on, but will be with Linda in Seattle celebrating). So, next opportunity to see the grandkid will be in a month. Let's see how I feel. For now, I'm so not into talking to my daughter. She calls me at work for the most inane things like asking me how to spell a word, like bitch,look it up yourself, why call me at my office? For the time being, I'm just going to instruct the receptionist to tell her I'm in court all day, so she won't keep calling.
Ok, I'll stop now. I'm only making myself more mad. At least my new notebook puter came in, so I can start to play with that thing and get it up to speed for my Seattle trip.
Thanks, guys, for your support. And Tony, your dad's comment about kids and grandchildren is on point. If my daughter did not have Zaire, I would probably not even be speaking to her today, as I would have tossed her ass out of my house when she was 21 and not supporting herself or contributing to the overall cost of living. But, after Zaire was born, I had difficulty in letting her go because all I could think of was how were they going to live, what with Mercedes graduating with a D average in high school and barely able to get a job that paid minimum wage, which would never pay for an apartment or a day care. So I took on all the responsibilities until my body could no longer take the stress.
Time to zone out ... wish me luck!
Bob, Zaire is a totally different kid when he's around me. Everyone always compliments me on the way he is so courteous and polite. But, when he's with his mom, he yells at her, talks back to her, calls her names, and he's only 7! I don't spank him or hit him, or even verbally abuse him, I just make it clear that in Grandma's house, this is how things run, or you don't get to come over to Grandma's house. In return, we do fun things, to the extent I can be actively engaged in them. I do the usual punishment of taking away things he likes ... my daughter makes outlandish statements to him when he's bad, like telling him she's going to throw out all his toys. Ha ha. As if Zaire believes she'd do that!
As an aside, though, I had just gone grocery shopping once when Mercedes was about 9 or 10 and she said she was hungry but there was nothing to eat. I was shocked. I opened the fridge and said "there's nothing in her you'll eat?" And she said "no." So, I really actually threw everything in the fridge in the garbage, and then said "now there's nothing to eat."
*What Tom and Bob said*
Hang in there, Carrie. I have similar experience...it's worth it, tho.
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