Passive aggressive roommate. I'm outside smoking my weed. She leaves for work. I smell incense coming outside from the inside. I go in. Four sticks of incense are burning in one room. She's closed the door to my room, a pet peeve of mine. All this because she has a love/hate relationship with my use of cannabis. I've been smoking for 43 years. We've been friends for 32 of those 43 years. Nary a complaint of my usage until we became roommates 5 years ago. Most of the time she is oblivious to it. But every now and then, the ugly head rears itself, and I get this: Stinking room. I proceeded to squash all the incense, opened my bedroom door, opened all the windows, went outside, drew a hit off my pipe, and blew the smoke into the house. Take that.
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As for reading this statement she wrote about me, I find it very hurtful. Yes, since I knew CarrieCann ( again, not her real name) I tolerated her smoking weed. You go to someone’s house you don’t demand that they stop changing their way of being. I did express to her on many occasions that her weed smoking did bother me. But never did I demand she change or stop smoking while in her own home. I would sit next to a window or away from her and her friends whenever they would light up.
When she needed help and a place to live, she begged me to let her stay at my place. It originally was to be until she could get back on her feet. She insisted on still lighting up her weed. I said NO. I don’t like it and never had. She then said that I seemed to have no problem before. I said to her that I did and that I had let her know about this but since I was in her house I didn’t demand for her to stop smoking in her own home. That would be rude.
Once again she demanded, not ask , that she be allowed to smoke her weed in my house. She also demanded that she didn’t have to pay for half of the utilities since I was already paying the full amount. Here I am trying to help her and she does this to me. Again I tolerated it because she said it was only going to be a short stay.
Short stay turned into 9 years. Yes, I’ve known her for over 30 years but you really don’t know someone until you live with them. And have them as a roommate. She was messy and disrespectful of the furniture and room. Yes we were friends and trying to help her out but she was not paying rent or utilities. She was to clean the house and make food in lieu of rent but even that was sporadic.
As the years drew we just learned to live with each others differences and accepting of them. I thought we had a closeness. Then I read this blog. It really hurt.
Time after time I asked her to please smoke away from the house. Smoke travels and weed penetrates even when it’s not smoked but out in the open. I never like the smell as also the smoke.
But to read what she did, this really hurts. I really thought we were friends but behind my back she was smoking inside house.
I’m sorry she’s not with us anymore. I was missing her so much. I helped her and took care of her in her final days. And cried a lot because we were friends and sometimes she was like a mom to me. Then I read this. I’m hurt.
I guess we weren’t that good of friends. She really did what she wanted and that was disregard my words of no smoking. Like I didn’t matter.
It’s not just what she did but that she called my actions and disgust of weed smoke passive/aggressive. I guess I’m venting my hurt and betrayal. You don’t DEMAND to say to the one that’s helping you out to get your own way in their home. She even told once why I don’t tell my neighbor who lives behind me to not smoke his weed in his own backyard if it bothered me so much. In the first place, I’m not going to tell him what he can and can’t do in his own property. Second , my backyard is big enough that I can remove myself from the smoke. And third, he rarely ever goes in backyard to smoke.
I’m expressing my feelings. She did say to voice something if I’m not happy. Well I’m doing it. I’m sad. Sad she’s said these things but also sad she’s not here anymore. But now I’m angry. Ohh, angry she said this and smoked inside. This wasn’t the only time. So many times I could smell weed in the house but after working 65-75 hour weeks, 5 days a week, days into all nighters I just didn’t have the energy to confront her with smell of weed inside the house.
Ok I said my mind and now getting off the soapbox she created here. Bye CarrieCann. Be at Peace 🙏. I’m hurt but that’s now for me to deal with. Can’t argue with the dead. I’m just crushed you would act like this towards me after all I tried helping you with. I still miss you. 😢
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