Drama, drama, drama

Very weird night tonight. When I got home, one of the neighbors knocked on my door and asked me if I knew the woman that was sitting down the hallway in front of one of our neighbor's apartment. I said no.

He told me that the woman, who appeared homeless, was dishelved and wearing a blanket and her hair was all massed out, and she was found rummaging through a very expensive car parked out back ... plus we had two apartments that were vacant and were not locked, and a truck stolen from out back last week ... so I just took command and told the woman to get the fuck out.

She left. Funny, my neighbors had called the landlord who had not returned their calls. I was like, "she'll return my call" and I called her, left a message, and she called back in seconds! Ha ha. Anyway, the landlady told me to call the police, and to handle it as best as I thought (given the lawyer in me) and she would try to contact the person whose apartment the woman was sitting in front of.

Then one of the guys tells me that the lady left her purse out by the garbage facility, and so I went out and looked through it. The wallet had over $100 in in and credit cards, and the driver's license looked like the same lady, except cleaned up. Plus her home address was in an upscale neighborhood about 50 miles from here, so there was a high probability the car was hers in the first place. Then to add to the mystery was the fact she had two children's car seats in the back of the car (she had no kids with her) and she mentioned to one of the guys that she was a victim of domestic violence.

So I ended up calling the police ... and they came by. I asked them to scour the neighborhood for what would appear to be a blonde, white female who may appear out of it and homeless, whom I believed was not really homeless. And I found out that the person she was trying to "see" house sits for "rich" people, and of course, this person qualified for that "rich" status. Pieces started to fit into place. The police said I should keep her purse because if they took it, they'd have to book it into evidence and she'd not get it for like a week, whereas if she came back, I could simply just give her the purse. I left my number on her car (which for now has not been reported stolen or missing, nor is her name on any missing persons list as I post). But, I am concerned, especially since both my landlady and I were watching Criminal Minds tonight ... god forbid there are two injured or dead children somewhere.

Obviously the woman was disassociated in some fashion, whether medically or from some horrible experience. For now, the police said they'd notify me if they find her, and if she shows up, she'll get my note and call me. I hope, in the end, everything will be ok.

But, I did find it funny two grown men in this building didn't know what to do with a woman who appeared out of it and homeless, and it took me to fucking close the front and back door to the building and tell the woman to go away! Men...sheesh.

UPDATE: The lady called me at around 4:30 a.m. collect, but my phone doesn't accept collect calls, so I could not talk to her. She called again at 6:30 a.m., and asked for her purse. I said sure, meet me down by your car. Then she asked if I had a yellow pages so she could call a cab. I'm paperless, use puters, and told her to go across the street to the gas station and tell the guys there that I sent her, and they would help her out. She eventually got a cab, put some of the stuff from the car into the cab, and left. Then I got a call from the girl who's apartment she had attempted to sit in front of, and man, what a story I got.

Apparently the woman used to live here before I moved in, which is why I didn't know her, but the other tenant did. She said that after the woman moved out and got married, she stayed in touch, and over the years, the woman confided in her that she was in an abusive relationship. They had two children, both with disabilities, and the husband was very controlling, with everything put in his name. I was informed that the husband once put the woman into a mental institution against her will.

So, now I learn that the woman I shushed out of the apartment building, who apparently spent a very cold night out on the street (now I know why she didn't sleep in her car, she was afraid her husband would track her down, plus this was a very new car, and she had told the garage people that her husband had disabled the car in some fashion ... I guess you can do that these days?) So that is why she kept asking for a cab, which I could never figure out because she had the stupid car parked out back. We decided not to tow it. We tried to track down where the cab took her, but the cab company wouldn't help. We even called the police to get THEM to call the cab company, but the said no to the cops as well.

When I got home, the car was still there. I had put my business card on it with the phone number of the tenant the woman was looking to get in touch with. We spent all day trying to track her down, but no luck. We called motels in the area, no luck.

I sure hope she's ok, and I'm pretty sure she didn't go home, because if she did, then her husband would have come here and retrieved the car. But I am surprised he hasn't retrieved it, since I am sure it has all those gizmos that can track where the car is. So, now, I'm going to have to get it towed, as the rest of the tenants are getting antsy about the loss of the parking space.

Now I wish I had taken down the number of the psychiatrist's card I saw in her wallet. Everyone keeps telling me not to feel bad I didn't help the woman, and that they would have done the same thing to someone who appeared to be homeless, looked to be looting a very expensive car, and was incoherent. I'm just sad that we didn't know the truth (or didn't believe her story) at the time where we could have actually helped her.

UPDATE 2: So, at about ten minutes to 9 a.m. this morning, (Saturday, 2/13/10) I get a telephone call, and the ID says "private." I thought for a moment it would be the stray woman we've been trying to find. Turned out to be her husband (erie chills went down my spine). He said this is so and so, so and so's husband. I said, how did you get my phone number, and he said I found it in the dive motel she was staying in. I asked him if she was with him, and he said no, she had been in the hospital but was released. Given the fact that he had put her in the hospital under a psych hold, I asked why was she in the hospital, and he said she was found face down on the sidewalk, drunk, and was taken there, but was released before he got there. Stupid me, again, I forgot the name of the motel he told me and the name of the hospital he said she was at. But it was clear that he took all her belongings, which probably included her money. His car was still parked in our parking lot, and he told me he had tried to retrieve it last night but the battery was dead, and that he was coming over today to pick it up. I told him I would contact the landlord since she was going to tow the car. Then he hung up. Unfortunately (or fortunately, whatever) my landlady had already towed the car in the morning. On the off chance he would call back once he got here and found the car gone, I call forwarded my home phone to my cell phone ... but he never called back.

So, on one front, I was right. I did not think she was going to go back to him, even with the two kids. Being the kind of person that drinks so much she would pass out on the street and be hospitalized, she is definitely trying to wipe out any reality about her life. But now, I think she may be more desperate, especially if he took all of her possessions from the motel. Hopefully, she had her wallet with her so she still has money and an ID.

Maybe, she just might try to contact me at the apartment, although she no longer has my phone number ... her husband has it. Still, she knows this place, and I'm pulling for her to find her way back here so my friend and I can get her into a shelter and get some treatment. We did create a working relationship with the local police over this, so my friend said she'd call the officer up and give him the latest details.

UPDATE 3: Wow, this story is taking on a life of its own. The husband called again (at about 9:00 p.m. 2/13/10), but this time, his number was not blocked, so now I have the number. Apparently, his wife was admitted to another hospital today, drunk (according to him) and suicidal. I asked him where she was now, and he said she is staying with friends, and told me hopefully, they can convince her to get into a rehab facility. I don't know if the guy is lying or not, but to be honest, and with my psych background, I feel like he's backed into a corner with his wife gone for three days, no one knowing where she is/was, and her being hospitalized twice in two days, both times drunk. As long as everyone focuses on the "drunk" part, then rehab is the right thing to do, even if that is not what the husband wants, and even if the husband is the one that is abusing her, whether physically or emotionally. He's stuck with having to save face by agreeing that his wife has a problem, and it's drinking (doesn't matter what she says when she's drunk about being abused -- treatment will get to the core of her drinking and if it is abuse, that will come out). I played it cool. He said, "you probably know all the sordid details by now," to which I replied, "no, I don't know your wife, my friend is the one that knows her," and reminded him that my only concern was that I was the one that shoved her out of the apartment building and I had guilt that she should have been helped instead of me throwing her out. I'm working on getting on his good side to find out more information. I told him to give my number to his wife and have her call me and I will give her the phone number to the friend she's been trying to contact. I told him that his car was towed and I have the number of who towed it, but he said he was in his car and he'd call me tomorrow to get the number. When he calls tomorrow, I'm going to ask him straight out to give me the phone number of where his wife is staying so that I can give it to my friend to call her. Let's see if he gives it to me.

Guys that are emotionally abusive, but not physically abusive, hide behind a thin veneer of appearing to be the "good" person, and the dysfunction of the other person is the focus of the good person's hiding of their abuse. So, hopefully, whether it's me and my friend, or other friends, the poor woman will get some help for her obvious drinking problem (come on, who passes out on the street unless they are really, really, really fucked up, and as fucked up as I've been in my drinking, I've never passed out in a public place, so she must really have a problem) and if it unmasks the husband, good for her.

Of course, at this point, I am still only speculating, because I don't know either the husband or the wife ... my friend in the building knows the wife.