Bush Critics Apologize

Realizing that they had pushed it just a little too far, critics of President Bush's Iraqi fiasco swallowed their pride today and apologized. At first Bush seemed to want to reject the apology, but finally said "Okay, just as long as you never do it again."

"Gosh, no way, Mister President, we're thoroughly chastened," said a shame-faced John Kerry, speaking from behind the presidential printer/fax/copier. "I guess me and the other guys were fallaciously emboldened by unfolding events on the world stage, and by some twisted misfiring of our cerebral synapses we've arrived without luggage in the scary valley of the shadowy Darth, choosing to bash you, my most exalted potentate, rather than to hammer our own heads. For that we shall remain eternally vigilant."

"All right, Botox Face, apology accepted."

"Please let me blow you, Mister President," said Nancy Pelosi, a crimson hue spreading quickly cross her cheeks. "Your manhood is as enormous as your legacy someday shall become. Not that your legacy isn't enormous already. Whew, that's one enormous legacy, I've gotta say. Why, your legacy is so big that people run around it for exercise. Your legacy is so huge that when it steps on the scales anyone with even a modicum of wisdom turns their head and coughs. Right, I know that was a little oblique. Your legacy is so big that when it lies out on the beach, no one else gets sun."

"It is a pretty big legacy..."

"Nancy is really speaking for all of us," said the Reverend Al Sharpton, taking a break from shining the presidents Cole Haan Edwin Cap Toe Crocs. "I guess sometimes we... and by 'we' I refer to the American people at large... and how large would that be, Nancy?"

"Oh, gosh, the American people are so large that when you climb on top of them your ears pop."

"That's right, Mister President, I'm just a humble negro preacher, but even I know that most people would really like to see the end times just as soon as possible, if not quicker. Me, I'd like to wait until after the final season of The Sopranos, but yeah, whatever's convenient for you."

"Ya'll get out of here. You're starting to freak me out."

HAHAHAHAHA. More rum, please!