Allergies Suck (Courtesy of Dohiyi Mir)

OK. So, it's not even midnight, and I'm still cracking up.

For whatever reason this brings to mind Steve Martin as Theodoric of York, Medieval Barber:

Theodoric of York: Hello, Joan, Wife of Simkin the Miller. Well, how's my little patient doing?

Joan: Not so well, I fear. We followed all your instructions - I mixed powder of staghorn, gum of arabic with sheep's urine, and applied it in a poultice to her face.

Theodoric of York: And did you bury her up to her neck in the marsh and leave her overnight?

Joan: Oh, yes. But she still feels as listless as ever, if not more.

Theodoric of York: Well, let's give her another bloodletting....

Joan: Will she be alright?

Theodoric of York: Well, I'll do everything humanly possible. Unfortunately, we barbers aren't gods. You know, medicine is not an exact science, but we are learning all the time. Why, just fifty years ago, they thought a disease like your daughter's was caused by demonic possession or witchcraft. But nowadays we know that Isabelle is suffering from an imbalance of bodily humors, perhaps caused by a toad or a small dwarf living in her stomach....

Theodoric of York: What's wrong with your friend here?

Hunchback: He broke his legs.Drunkard: I was at the festival of the vernal equinox, and I guess I had a little too much mead.. and I darted out in front of an oxcart. It all happened so fast. They couldn't stop in time.

Theodoric of York: Well, you'll a lot better after a good bleeding.

Drunkard: But I'm bleeding already!

Theodoric of York: Say, whos the barber here?

Guess I'd better go see the barber this week for a haircut and good bleeding before I head out for a gig in New Jersey...

ntodd