As some of my readers already know, I am battling breast cancer.
My treatment plan is four months of chemotherapy, surgery to remove either one or both breasts (not determined at this time), followed up by radiation therapy, and then breast reconstruction approximately six months later.
Part of beating cancer is having a positive outlook. I found that blogging interfered with having that positive outlook because I need to get into an angry space to blog about things that are unjust, unfair, wrong, etc. I never thought about that "space" or frame of mind before because my outlook on life has always been rather uplifting and cheery (yeah, despite my suicide attempt ...). Now I find that having to stress over the way things are in today's world brings me to a place that interferes with my ability to stay extremely positive about things.
I don't like not blogging especially since so many things are going on right now. But I have to consider what my chances are for a future, and blogging about politics right now, for me, is not in the cards.
I hope that by the time I have had surgery the worst is over with the cancer, and I can get back to the bar and grill and do what you all love me for the best ... blog!
You can follow my cancer path on Facebook.
2 comments:
Or being around angry people. My sister was angry at me for me being depressed, & that blinded her to seeing how fucking angry I was about it, & the Catch 22 situation I was in: If I denied the severity of the depression, the mental health folks would have taken that as proof I was incapable of rational decision making & "sent me up" to the big hospital on the hill, two layers deeper in the county system. I culd not abide my sister's anger she bordered on contempt. I thought, she
ll never take me shopping or drive me to appointments, or take me to Wendy's.
Don't worry, we'll be here. You take the time to take good care of yourself.
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