"That's a kind assessment in the English language, if a put-down in an English pub."

Then again, you don't have Beckham fatigue, which might just be one reason you're getting Beckham.

You're also getting a soccer midfielder, and those of you who already realized that already know what kind of soccer midfielder you're getting.

The rest of you might notice this Beckham hubbub and think you're getting, oh, Ronaldinho.

You're not.

You're getting neither the best player in the world nor the former best player in the world. You're not getting the best English player. You're getting a fine 31-year-old who has spent much of the Real Madrid season seated in wane after 94 international appearances for England and 1990s stardom for Manchester United. You're getting a player who can kick the ball ingeniously but often can't beat somebody to the ball to kick it, a maestro when the ball sits still but not so much when the ball moves.

If you'll look carefully — and you might not, even — you'll notice that in soccer the ball moves more than it sits. If you'll look even more carefully, you'll notice that, still, if a dead ball struck from a free kick or corner kick curves wickedly and travels, say, into that big net at the end of the pitch — sorry, field — they count it as a goal.

Sometimes, it's the only goal all day, thus invaluable.

As you see, you're getting a player of debated merits on European chat boards, yet you're getting somebody who'll rate as a good Major League Soccer player.

That's a kind assessment in the English language, if a put-down in an English pub.

In the omniscient pre-game conversations in English pubs, when people speak of Major League Soccer, they . . .

Well, they don't speak of the MLS.

Ha ha ha. As a former fan of the Los Angeles Kings since they've been owned by AEG, the same owner of most of MLS (which is far more the passion of its owner, Anschutz Entertainment Group, which pretty much started up the MSL and still owns most of the teams). MLS is not really a "league" of sorts that one would relate to in sports. It's more like a condominium association playground, where the owner "owns" everything, but let's the residents play, without really having to pay any expenses for the sport.

Also, although I've yet to confirm it, but I believe it to be very true, that this $250 million is mostly in contractual endorsements, because MSL has a $2.1 million team salary cap.

And, really, in America, who cares about the Spice Girls, especially POSH?