No A-List Here (Looking Under Desk)

What went wrong with this guest list?

Now, the truth is, barely any famous people turned up. And when there is a dearth of the famous, the appearance of the odd A-lister - J-Lo, Will Smith, I suppose "Jimella" Carrey, if we're going to be generous - rather than lifting the spirit of the gathering, actually just rams home how thoroughly it has been rejected by everyone else on the A-list. If there are no A-listers at all, you can pretend it's because you didn't invite any. As soon as Posh Spice is there, this option is now closed to you, and your only option is to pretend that your entire A-list is stuck in traffic. I think the fact that guests left with a £5,000 Armani goodie bag sheds some light on the matter ... there's a cognitive error, here, isn't there? Now, £5k is loads to a normal person, but they didn't want normal people. It's not very impressive at all to a full-blown celeb, which might be why they only got four or five. Better, if those are the kind of numbers you're talking about, to have ginormous leaving presents and give them all a snow leopard.

Ouch!

I'm tripping Brooke Shields actually attended the damn thing. Sheesh.