Saturday, February 26, 2011

Say Good Bye While You Can To My Grandson

I know my readers have been wondering how things went at the "trial" regarding my grandson. I have a lot to say about that.

First off, at about 4:00 p.m. the day before trial, we get notice that the dead beat dad's, dead beat dad, (with the supposed connections to a famous person, why that would even matter) hired a law firm in Chicago as well as a law firm in Los Angeles. Basically, we got Johnny Cochran'd at trial. Bottom line, for now (because we have to return in 30 days), my grandson is forced to move to Chicago to live with the dead beat dad. What makes this decision even more egregious is that the dead beat dad's family live HERE! So, not only is he taking his child away from the child's mother and grandmother, he's also taking the child away from his own mother and the rest of his family. Nice work there, idiot.

Now, to correct the record, it wasn't dead beat dad reading my blog – it was the attorneys (which, by the way, I know cost a boatload, so way to go dead beat dad's dead beat dad). And as to why I call the father's father a dead beat, is because I know his ex is STILL trying to the get her back child support from him! This is a very dysfunctional family, and I will leave it at that.

As an aside to my readers, whom I believe know my politics since my blog has been up and running close to six years now, one of the attorneys for the "other side" actually told my set of attorneys that I was an anti-Semite, and that I was using my grandson and his image to promote pro PLO positions! Ok, stop laughing, he really did say that. And one of the other goons posing as an attorney actually did a little chest pumping and lunged at me when I told him "it's not over yet," with a "what did you say" as if he was going to jump over the counter and punch me. Fine specimens of what we in the legal profession call assholes.

So, here's the situation. Dead beat dad (who, by the way, works a graveyard shift job, so his hours are roughly 7 pm to 3 am) and who's never parented on any real level before, and is barely an adult himself (despite his age) is now going to have to be a father, and not just a once a year, one week gig father, but a 24/7 father, to what will probably end up being a very unhappy and angry eight year old. Plus, given his work hours, it's a pretty good assumption that my grandson will be "cared" for by babysitters most of the time. Again, this will not make dead beat dad's child love him ... in fact, it will only foster more resentment, first at being taken away from the only home he has known for eight years to go to that gawd awful place known as Chicago (sorry to my Chicago readers, but you already know it just does not match up to what's happening in sunny California), but he isn't even going to have real time interactions with his own father. Not when the guy is getting home at about 4 am (he has no car, so give him time to walk or use whatever transit is available at that hour to get home from work), and he won't be able to just go to sleep because he'll have to be up to get his child off and ready to go to school (which will be the third school the poor kid will be attending this year). I sure hope that he's not left back and will have to repeat third grade thanks to the vengeful actions of his dead beat dad. Then there's the getting the child home from school, dinner, homework, etc. But with his job hours, there's no way dead beat dad will be putting his kid to bed before he leaves for work (face it, an eight year old does not go to bed at 6 pm, right?), so the big elephant in the room is who IS going to be parenting my grandson? It most certainly will not be the kid's father – even dragging him to Chicago, he SIMPLY DOES NOT HAVE THE TIME TO BE A PARENT.

Just a note, though, I am stepping up the game a bit, but since all the lawyers seem to be interested in what I have to say, and have been quote reading unquote my blog (but obviously not able to comprehend the posts) I'll keep it close to my chest and won't reveal all my options.

What I do find quite interesting are the parallels between my custody situation with my daughter and her father (we shared her equally, two years with one parent with liberal visitation and two years with the other parent with liberal visitation) is that when she turned a certain age, she simply said she was no longer going back to live with her father. I don't give my grandson half as long as my daughter took to decide she didn't want to live with her father, for him to make the same decision. I am pretty sure dead beat dad has so few social skills and even fewer parenting skills, that I wouldn't be surprised to hear that my grandson tells someone at his school that his father got mad at him because he couldn't get his homework right, and hit him. Payback can be dirty.

I feel bad for my grandson. The ill will in that family generated toward me is intense, so much so that when I brought the computer for him to play with while in court, the dead beat dad had to come and tower over this little boy and make a scene, such that my grandson lowered his eyes and told me, "I'm sorry grandma, but I can't play with the computer." What a douchebag to manipulate a little child like that. But I know my grandson, and he can be a pain in the ass in his own right, so let him be the dead beat dad's worst parental nightmare.

For my daughter, she's got a year and a half to go to finish her college, so she's going to be able to study full time and be single and not have to be bothered with the parenting for the time being. She'll be putting her son's stuff in storage for now so as not to get caught up in sadness from time to time, and will focus on her education. For me, I will box up my grandson's belongings and store them as well (except I have plenty of closets in my house so I don't need to store them somewhere else). I'll concentrate on my Santa's Elves non-profit project, and I am now throwing myself head on into Assemblyman Feuer's bill to try to fix the travesty that is known as the dependency court here in California. Turn shit into shinola, as they say. Plus, I will probably be running a campaign for a friend of mine that is planning a run for a city council seat here in Los Angeles.

On a good note, the day after the trial, my cousin's daughters, Ruby and Summer, performed at the Hollywood Renaissance Hotel, and there was just so much family and so much love and so much show business that it brightened up what was a lousy day prior. I will post what few photos and the one video I had the time to take with my new droid phone (a little better than my prior phone, but actually, nothing really beats a real camera!)

I plan to write my grandson every day. Maybe a card one day, a letter another day, a package with a goodie another day, etc. But each and every day he is away, I will be sending him something, so I will know he will always be wanting to check the mailbox because grandma sent him mail. I don't know what I will do with his blog. It will be up, but it will stay dark until he tells me he has something to say, or writes me and tells me to put this or that on his blog.

I want to thank all of you that have followed this story and have sent me so many wonderful and uplifting comments and notes.

Note to attorneys: Keep up the reading of my blog, and be sure to charge Joe a lot of money for having to read everything. It makes me happy to know you're learning about ME, which of course, has nothing to do with your client, the child, or my daughter! I am not the one charged with anything, and I was not on trial, so if Joe wants to pay for you to sit all day and read my blog, have at it. You might actually get an education on how the real world operates, and maybe even learn a thing or two about politics (and music, and dance, oh and sports too -- none of you looked like you could shoot a round of hoops, or hit the rink and slap a puck around, HA HA!)

Just a little video taken in 2008 with my grandson singing to Sugarland's "All I Want To Do" YouTube video from the ACMA awards. It's cute, but then again, he was only six and still couldn't sing!


Bob said...

Bya Zaire. Stay in touch. Miracles happen.

Tony said...

It's all just so sad. I feel so bad for Zaire, that he has to go through all this at a young age. Ihope things get sotered out sooner rather then later. It doesn't seem to make sense to move him to Chicago when there is another court date in 30 days. What about visitation with Mercedes? Even if they require supervised visits, she can't see him in Chicago. The father chose to move to Illinois, it's not as if Mercedes took Zaire out of state on him. I will continue to pray for the little man, that he keeps his strength and sanity, while his world is changng around him. Good bye little guy.

Tony said...

That should say "sorted" not "sotered"

Carrie said...

I am taking my cues from my daughter. If she's not falling apart, I'm going to not fall apart. I agree with one thing she's saying and feeling, and that, it is his father, so it's not as if she's handing him off to a strange family that's moving him out of state. But we both know that starting to be a father to a child at age 8-1/2 is just simply not going to be a viable solution. The dad waited way too long to attempt to assert himself into the child's life at this point in time. I know my daughter says that her son is not crying and does not appear to be scared, but I believe it will be hell on wheels and balls to the walls as soon as day one, when that plane lands in Chicago, and my grandson realizes how alone he really is. In fact, if it was legal to wager on this, I would give 100 to 1 odds this will be temporary, and not because I have the power to outspend Joe, but because Zaire will simply be too much trouble for dead beat daddy to want anymore. Sooner (and really not too much later) he'll be calling my daughter and asking her to take her son back.

Carrie said...

Seems I am getting under the skin of the attorneys (or maybe just the father, I don't know yet). But, without ever reading my blog, I got a call from my daughter screaming from high heaven about this post, where she claims I gave out the dad's address and all kinds of personal identification, which is a crock of shit. I'm writing the truth, and if they don't like it, they can sue me. But, instead, the dad is using my post to threaten my daughter with no visitation. How sad and how pathetic. If this is any indication of his parenting skills, i.e., short tempered, I can only say to the dad "good luck with your son" because he will be getting much more mad at his son when he's alone and having to do all the things a parent has to do for an eight year old. It is not easy, even when you have your shit together.

Arno said...

Zaire, take good care. We will see you again, I know.
You've got moves.